Classifications of Bad Exes

I friend of mine once told me that she would never date someone whom she thinks will turn out to be a bad ex. While this may sound absurd, I just realized that her advice really makes a sense. To prove this, I have enumerated classifications of exes that are bad for one’s health.


The bitter one

The bitter one will do anything to destroy his/her partner no matter what it takes. This has happened to a friend of mine whose ex-boyfriend created a Facebook profile and pretended that he was my friend.

Surprisingly, most of the bitter exes are those who have cheated (or those who are generally considered a bad partner) and can’t accept the fact that their partners have moved on and left them.


The doormat

Doormats are those people who will accept their former lovers with arms wide open even if they have been cheated on or their partners have emotionally or physically abused them.

In most instances, those people who have a doormat partner would try out other relationships as a past time. And after the platonic love dies out, they will again return to their ever-waiting and loving doormats.

While having a doormat seems to be harmless, people should remember that emotionally abused individuals are most likely to commit crimes of passion.


The blackmailer

Blackmailers will use different threats and guilt-tripping tactics thinking that these will force their ex to return. For example, blackmailer women would mention suicide or virginity issue to their ex. On the other hand, the male version of a blackmailer would normally threaten to post sexually indecent photos or videos of their ex.


The badmouther

These people do not realize that by badmouthing their ex, the only reputation they are maligning is their own.

The characters of a badmouther are almost the same as the bitter ex.


The ugly ex

The ugly ex makes us think the positive side of having a selective amnesia. And if a friend or relative mentions her/him, we would smile and change the topic.


The bed conqueror

A feminist once said that if a woman wants to conquer men, she should not conquer him in bed, instead, she should conquer his heart and mind. However, this aphorism does not make any sense to bed conquerors (they are usually women) who think that men are nothing but a large penis.

Bed conquerors would use or offer sex to lure their partners back, not realizing that they turn themselves into a bargain-priced prostitute.


The ghost

“Ghosts” want their presence to be felt that is why they will text, email, or call their ex from time to time. But just like any ghost, they are nothing but an annoyance not just to their former lovers but also to the latter’s new partner.

Surprisingly, most ghosts have tried other partners (or they are currently in a relationship) but still want to communicate with their ex. Perhaps these wayward souls are carrying an emotional baggage and they think that the biggest fish just got away.